I saw a re-posted Tweet the other day from writer Ashley C Ford, which stated:
“You are watching people go through withdrawal from the emotional addiction to the myth of certainty. “
This strikes at the heart of what is fueling our Covid 19 fears. Whether you are worried about the disease itself, or worried about your finances or job, or worried about the economy, or just plain worried about when things are going to get back to normal, already!, what you are really worried about is the uncertainty.
We have all become a little too comfortable with predictability. We’ve had it pretty good for quite a while. We love our routines and our habits and come to rely on the patterns in our lives, and every single human hates it when things change unexpectedly. We get stressed! Even if we are good at handling it (or so we think), we get stressed, even those of us who say we love change, actually get stressed when it happens. It’s just a biological response to the need for preparation, for reassessing risk, and for planning for safety. And change? It happens a lot. Right now it’s just on a bigger scale than we are used to. So. You are in good company. Everyone is going through the same withdrawal from the myth of certainty.
What do you do to ease the worry?
Gradually build new routines. As we get used to the “new normal”, for example, wearing face masks in public, we will find ways to make it predictable and less threatening. For example, masks with fashion colors, learning to smile with our eyes and show people kindness with our body language. Get up for your work from home day and dress as if it mattered. Walk the dogs more often. Schedule regular online or socially distant meet-ups with friends. Or look for new online friends. There are still ways to navigate this new road successfully.
Shift your expectations. One big thing that helps with stress during transitions is leaning into the change, instead of resisting it. Accepting that things are going to feel different, and that is to be expected, mentally shifts your emotions to be less defensive in the face of something new. Telling yourself, “I can figure this out”, instead of “when will this ever end?” is more realistic view that allows you to feel like you have more control.
Control what you can. Take the safety precautions that are in your sphere of influence and do them consistently, but try not to fret about what you can’t fix. Getting mad at other people for believing or acting differently does nothing to change them, it only increases your own stress. We are all trying to stay informed, but we all come to own conclusions about our personal safety and risk.
Doing things one day at a time. Ok, sure I know this is old news. But it matters in these circumstances quite a bit. Compartmentalize your worries or “things to do” to help you organize them. Write them down. Break your mental stress mountain into pieces and it won’t seem so dangerously high and huge. Just work on the things you need to do right now. When we can’t see the end of the path ahead of us, don’t stare into the darkness, just focus on putting one foot in front of the other.
Lastly, give that Uncertainty a big ol’ hug, because it’s going to be around for a while.