Our minds are constantly full of thoughts, emotions, memories, and predictions of future. It can feel, sometimes, that we are absolutely overflowing with stuff in our heads. We can only hold about seven things in working memory, so on a busy day, on top of all the things competing for our attention, all the images and words that fill our minds, things from the past, worries of the future, and the stories of ourselves, we also are also struggling to hold onto our constant mental list of “Things To Do,” just hoping that we don’t forget something important in the process. Our bodies, which are the vessels of emotion, are then scrambling to keep up with the constant up and downs of our thoughts, churning out stress hormones over and over to keep us motivated and ready for battle.
Luckily, we have a quiet place in our brains that can step back from the fray and take stock. It’s called the Observing Self. Otherwise known as Awareness, or Being, the Observing Self is the part of consciousness that can detach from the Stuff of Thought, and just peacefully Be Still. It happens when we become cognizant of the flurry of thoughts and images, and step back to watch. It is the energy of Attention that we can draw away from one thing and bring to something else. The Focus that we can pull from outside ourselves to inside ourselves. This skill of mental Observing without judgement is something we all have and something we all can train to serve us in times of stress, impatience, frustration, as well as times of joy, contentment and gratitude. Being with our internal and external experiences, through quiet observation and detached compassion, allows us to see them for what they really are: Just moments, just thoughts. We can appreciate things more when we want and let things bother us less if we need, when we draw our Awareness to our breath, our body, and the presence of just being alive. This mindful practice of using the Observing Self to be in the moment, connect with the here and now, and see all the memories, predictions and other thoughts as being just the Busyness of the Monkey Mind, allows us to defuse the power of strong emotions and thoughts about ourselves. It gives us a private place to go, even if for just a few seconds, to refresh our perspective.
Bringing awareness to breathing is the simplest exercise to try. Slow, smooth breaths, with a longer exhale, and a pause at the end when your lungs are empty. Just breath as is comfortable for you, as you bring your Observing Self to gently attend to the process. The nervous system likes to relax to this. Breathing slowly is the nervous system’s”happy place”. I invite you to make this part of your daily rituals, just a few moments, a few times during the day, to tell your Breath: Thank you.